 |
||
|
Monday, February 05, 2007
hi there.. it has been quite a while... too many things to say..too little time.. i got soo much to say buti dunno where to start..hmmmm.. let's talk about wat im feeling now, if u bother to read dat is.. i just finished my interview with the lecturers just now. students whose works are not good enuff or are not found to be of a graduating student standard must go thru an interview with them.. and just as i had expected when i first opened the studio door, myname was the second on the list.. ok lets stops with the introductions and get on with it shall we..? i was nervous and scared waiting fer the interview. i hate the feeling..it makes me feel like i wanna shitt.. lol! serious! hahaha... well, they called my name and i went in.. well, i noe im not good and i very well noe my work sucks big time.. i noe dat..and they keep telling me dat..and there's noting i can say coz i noe im all dat.. and as usual alexis HAD to answer almost aLL of my questions.... like she's me... fer example, i wud answer: yeah im werking 4 days per week. alexis will say: other ppl werking mah... faris: so u are supporting most of ur projects money? normah: ....... alexis: other people's parents died in the middle of their course and they had to support themselves... i was like "did they ask u bitch???" hur hur..watever... well thats about wrapped up my interview dat day. they i went out of the room. it was mariana's turn..she went in i tink fer abt 20 mins den went out sobbing.. i felt bad fer her.. but she is in the company of all her friends. den it struck me dat i dun have any friends animore..my friends are all gone, no offence.. all of a sudden i was overwhelmed with a weird feeling..suddenly i feel like i wanna cry..i felt hurt. if feels like someone hurt me. dat i shud cry. i ought to cry. dat i have the right to cry... yeah, dat kept me thinking fer a while there as i gazed blankly at the blank computer screen. hmmmm... normah u shud cry. u have feelings gurl. u noe u din do well. they demoralized u. they talk down abt u. they make u feel as tho u are noting more than a pile of dirt on the floor. well alexis did. den why arent u crying gurl? why are u keeping all of those feelings of urs bottled up inside? why? is ur heart made of stone? have u no feelings..where's ur heart? where is all dat emotions? where? den dat feeling came again..the answer to ALL those questions... i noe why my heart is made of stone. i noe why i have no feelings. i noe why i kept it bottled up inside of me. i noe why my hearts not there animore. i noe why all my emotions are gone.. just imagine.. what will happen if i cry? what will happen if i burst out crying? what will happen if all that happened??? ans: there will be NO ONE to comfort me there one will be thre fer me i have no shoulder to cry on nobody who listens to all my complaints at least mariana have friends i had none. my friends a gone i have no one in class i went school alone i go home alone i ate lunch alone sometimes i skipped lunches coz i got no one to talk to i talk to myself in class (i guess) im alone all by myself welllll... its gonna be over soon..am i right? Shayera succeeded at 12:35 PM. |
Me, myself and I... -- Jess My busy schedule list... -- Do homework I frequent... -- Friend Blog Tag on my board... INSERT TAGBOARD HERE. | |